Homeless 101.9: How I Became Un-homeless

Illustration by Hugh Macleod @ Gapingvoid.com

I simply moved out of the government shelter. And felt an immediate sigh of relief the minute I walked out the door. All of a sudden I had my freedom back, my self respect, my creativity, my energy, my intellect. I had become a man again.(Continued...)

This blog. aHBiNYC is now available as an eBook. It covers the writer's homeless experiences in New York City from September 11, 2011 through January 2013 in 245 pages and 50 chapters. To order simply use the PayPal button in the sidebar, send $10, and include your email address in the PayPal memo form. Thank you.

Homeless 101.8: New York Mayor Bloomberg Declares War On the Homeless!

And the 12th richest man in America means business. According to the National Coalition for the Homeless, under Bloomberg's tutelage "The total homeless shelter population is 33% higher than when he (Bloomberg) took office and the number of homeless families is 45% higher." So Mike's not messing around. A guy like that lives in a pretty nice house so it's fairly obvious that he really doesn't like people who live in much less. "New York's a classy city", he said, "and having all these bums, and families and children on the street just doesn't look good - so let's put em' where we don't see em'". Out of site, out of mind. That's the Bloomberg plan. 

According to the Wall Street Journal, the bible of America's 1% wealthiest, "The number of people in New York City's homeless-shelter population exceeded 40,000 last week for the first time, capping a rapid rise in homeless children and families since the spring when the city eliminated a rent subsidy program, according to a report to be released Wednesday. Mr. Bloomberg had earlier set a goal in 2004 of cutting both the number of people who sleep on the streets and use the shelter system by two-thirds by 2009, but neither pledge has been fulfilled." Instead, in measures more draconian than used on the Occupy Wall Street protesters this week, Mr. Bloomberg simply ignored his own promises and his dismal record on the issue. "Getting rid of those protesters was cheap. Housing 40,000 homeless will cost about a billion-five a year, but that's better than having them on the street", he said. "Looks nice around here, doesn't it?"

Homeless 101.5: All in Good Humour

Jack Nicholson

Living in Bellevue, the crazy house - even as a re-purposed homeless shelter, is one thing but letting it drive you crazy is quite another.. So it pays to keep a sense of humour on oneself at all times. Having a good laugh can make a whole crappy day go away. Poof. Gone. And so I use an old Quentin’ Tarantino trick to remember the little things that happen that I might otherwise forget. I had heard once that when asked how he could write prison lingo film dialog that Tarantino said he had been thrown into the drunk tank once, and so he just wrote down everything all his cellmates said. If I wrote down everything my roommates said at Bellevue, I’d never be able to stop writing, so I just write down the memorable stuff. Here’s some:

 “Nah, it’ll just make me feel like a cop”, responds one guy to another on the elevator when asked if he wanted a free donut. 

The Back to Work program is a government program that is supposed to prepare people to re-enter the workforce after unemployment, but what it seems to excel at is in making people wait. For instance, at the subcontractor CEC (Career Educational Consultants) that I attend, after punching in on a clock, people must wait to sign into their class (yes, that's like punching in by hand a second time), this can take an hour or more because the hallway is just jammed – and there really is no class – just a room full of banged up old computers that people who have never used a computer before try to use. And after signing in there, you can sign up again on a clipboard to see your case worker or a job consultant. This could take an hour more, or two. And then there’s the line to get your Metrocard, the card used on buses and subways – a half hour at least. And so the place is always SRO with people waiting. 


Phone rings, lady waiting in the crowd answers and then responds: “I’m at the zoo”, she says. And this oddly, all becomes normal.

“I kissed a white girl in rehab” – Says a guy on 8^th avenue to his buddy as I walk by on the way to the soup kitchen for lunch.

The other day the library gave me a little tiny library card with a hole in it for my keychain. Funny, homeless people don’t have keychains, I thought.

Back at Bellevue a conversation ensues in the room in which the word ‘tomorrow’ was used twice by the same guy – and almost, as if on cue, Marvin and I break into a chorus from the musical Annie, “Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya Tomorrow! You're always A day A way! ”, we sang in unrehearsed unison. It was friggin' hilarious.

"HA, HA, HA, Ha!", bellowed another roomie. "That's Belleview at its finest!".

So the other night at the Occupy camp was 'Kid's Night' - a night in which middle class parents brought their kids down to spend the night in a tent. Now, if that's not funny, I don't know what is. "Lookie Skip", those are hippies over there", said dad. "Just like grampa used to be".

The laughs never end around here. Wonder what Bloomberg had for dinner tonight?

Mayor Bloomberg Warns of "Panic in the streets if companies don't start hiring".

And the land of the free passes another day. Metro New York reports that not only was a man arrested for using a bullhorn at the Occupy Wall Street protest, but gasoline for an electric generator was confiscated by police and cited as a 'fire hazard' - fuel that would be otherwise legal if used for a lawnmower, chainsaw or motorbike. Welcome to America, where freedom of speech is ok, so long as you don't use a bullhorn and petroleum products, the ones we wage wars over, are reserved for those who don't have a problem with the current economic situation. I have personally seen the protest and can tell you that activities are entirely peaceful, but it certainly seems as if the police are being brought in to disrupt things. And they are doing a fine American job of that. Luckily, attorney Samuel Cohen supports our right to free speech and is representing the protesters. "What these people are doing is the essence of the First Amendment. We want to make sure this is allowed to continue", he said. For video of police brutality against peaceful protesters, click here.

In other news, Mayor Bloomberg warns of "Panic in the streets if companies don't start hiring". Maybe finally, somebody in some position of power is getting it. Maybe.